Farewell "Spec"tacular

“Farewell but never goodbye.”

That phrase was written in my high school yearbook about 50,000 times. I didn’t understand it then, and I don’t understand it now. Why set synonyms in opposition to each other? I guess the idea is that “goodbye” carries more of a connotation of finality than “farewell,” right? As in, “goodbye” is forever, but “farewell” is more like, “I’ll see you next week.”

What bullshit. When do we ever say “farewell” except when someone is leaving and going far far away? I mean, when Jackspatula leaves the house in the morning, he doesn’t say, “Farewell, flip!” What “farewell” actually means is that someone is getting their ass out of town.

Which is the case with my dear, dear work colleague and friend, Spec. The little punk is living the dream, heading off to the Big Apple. He is actually going to be living in the very neighborhood Jackspatula and I were considering a couple of years ago when we thought we might blow this popsicle stand.

Ah, Spec. The life of the lunch table. How we will miss you. But before you go, a farewell quiz:

Which of the following best describes Spec?:

*The person most likely to say “penis” at the lunch table.
*The person most likely to say “fuck” at the lunch table.
*The person most likely to give you the shirt off their back and let you borrow any CD you want and keep it forever and turn you on to really great music and say witty things about art and love and life and be a really great and true friend.
*All of the above.

If you don’t know the answer, you don’t know Spec, and that’s your loss. Farewell, buddy, and I WILL see you in New York one day.

NO SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN!!